I woke up feeling really lousy today. My eyelids were so heavy I needed so much effort just to open them, my head was spinning and my heart was thumping. I felt like I was suffocating from something. My alarms kept on going and I tapped on the snooze button over and over again while curling up on my bed with my duvet rolled all over me. It was such an effort to finally drag myself up and sit down for a sec before I finally made it to shower, just because I got an in home boxing session at home.
During the boxing session, I felt restless. I tried my best to push myself and increase my adrenaline by putting on some songs. No matter how hard I pushed, my energy just wouldn’t come out. My stamina sucked so bad. I finished the training anyway but I didn’t feel as fresh as I should be after a work out.
At the office later in the day, no matter how hard I concentrated, my mind and my brain went blank and it kept on going like that, no matter how much caffeine intake I got from my latte. I wrote things wrongly. I felt disconnected and disoriented more than ever.
It didn’t matter how much make up I put on to cover my blotchy tired eyes. Everything that I applied into my face which usually set into place were all wrong. Even curling my hair was wrong, my hair just wouldn’t set into the usual curls that I liked. I couldn’t even pick my outfit. BLAH. Everything was such a mess, then I felt messier.
The answer was simple. After my Thailand trip with a lot of non stop walking, I took no days off and launched myself into day to day training on yoga, boxing and running. I slept so late and only God knows why, each day my tiredness increase and increase so every time I was doing something, it took me twice as long than usual when my stamina is at its best. It kept on going and I got weaker and more tired each and everyday up until my body was fed up by my non stop activities. So yes, I could say that when I woke up today, I felt like shit.
So it goes just like this. My body at its best – then it gets tired – not enough rest – it gets even more tired and I push my luck and still do a lot of activities – it gets more tired – I’m not concentrating anymore – it took me twice as much to do anything so it gets even more and more tired – and the cycle is not stopping – BAM – I’m a wrecked.
Resting is not a life style nowadays. The busier you are, you are categorised as an active person and therefore your life means something. Therefore, you’re not worthless. You are a somebody. Somebody with a life. But I find it that the more I strive when I’m tired and not resting when I feel like I need one : I got no life. I feel like a dead girl buried six feet under and trying to crawl myself back into the world but the soil keeps dragging me down. At the end of the day, I’m dysfunctional.
I got the conclusion that resting is a must when you need one. Short term or long term. Whether it’s just napping for 10 minutes, sleeping the whole 8 hours at night, a vacation after one month of super busy work, just being at home for the rest of the weekend after one month long of adventurous travelling or a mountain hike. It also could be one sabbatical year after 10 years of work commitments. Resting is a must. Without resting, we are living as a slave of ourselves.
So if you feel like you’ve had enough, don’t push it. Just rest. Tomorrow is another day. You’ll catch up.
With LOVE, S.