Being a girl means a lot of things. It means that you can be pretty, dress up and look good. It means that you can be flirty, wear your confidence with a big smile on your face and be crazy hot in your boots ( I really do want to say heels, but I’m a heels-dummy, who am I kidding LOL ). It’s not selfish to give yourself a self love. Just because why not ? Being a girl is a privilege. You have a lot of choices in fashion, what you would like to wear, what you would like to put on your face. It really is, a beautiful kind of life, being one thing : a girl.
It also means that you have to look after yourself. To value and protect yourself. When you’re attractive, you’ll attract guys, and ready or not : people are not always bad, just like people are not always good. Which sucks, when you choose to be a good person.
Being raised with the modern kind of parents, they give me freedom in a lot of things. They allow me to travel, to go to parties, to wear whatever I want to wear, to choose who I want to be. This is a good thing because growing up, I learn a lot that because they trust me so much, I don’t want to ever let them down and let myself down. It makes me think more about my actions because I don’t want to lose their respects. Sure thing, I did a lot of wrongs as a teenager finding myself and trying to rebel and act out. But at the end of the day, I know all of my lessons and I know how to turn the wrongs to the rights and be a better person.
As this topic is about girlhood, nowadays I’ve been seeing and noticing a lot of campaigns about girls against sexual harassment, verbal abuse and a lot of things alike. I’m not saying I’m a feminist, but I think it’s a good thing that women stand up for other women defending each other. I’ve never thought about this issue deeply, up until last week.
I went to Jakarta last week on a Friday night, to this dining and bar place with live music performance every evening. I’ve been a regular customer with my usual table, but I’ve never been acquainted with anybody except the friendly host and the usual waiter who always there to serve me and my friends. It’s always been a safe zone there, with a lot of civilised young people who just try to enjoy a nice fun evening to take off the edge of the stress living in such a busy metropolitan city. I’ve never been the kind of girl who dress provocatively, because it’s still Indonesia and I’ve always been conscious about what people are going to say and I always know the line and the code of dressing up. Which is, I’ve never cross the limits, if you know what I mean. That night, I just simply put on a sleeveless top with a strap and a nice trousers and a pair of my favourite sneakers. Nothing fancy, far away from sexy and provocative. I was just enjoying a sing along and drinks, with three of my good friends, up until this manager something guy came up and give us free drinks, just because two of my friends know the guy.
I didn’t even make conversation with this guy and to be honest, we were just being introduced and doing small talks. I even kept my distance from him. It was all normal, up until I went to the toilet and when I came back, my friend who happened to be the birthday boy of the night, gave me a code and a sour face. He said, ” We should go. This asshole just asked me, am I your boyfriend. Are we sleeping in the same room. Where our hotels are and guess what, our room number. He even tried to offer me a room on my own, because he was keen to be in a room with you.”
And with THAT, people, I was too pissed to even talk. I simply walked out of the place with my friends.
I’ve always been a girl with respect and pride. Yes, I drink. But I don’t smoke. I don’t sleep around. I don’t do one night stands. There are no judgements to people who do that, because that’s their own choices in life, but it’s against my principle. I have my own rules. I have my own respected self. So, this offended me so much. I wasn’t drunk and I wasn’t imagining things. Even to girls who do sleep around, that guy would be too much of an asshole and a jerk to have some.
Who did he think he was ? The king ? A rockstar ? To be honest, he didn’t even look good at all. He looked like a desperate kind of person, in which he was too much of a bastard to have a committed partner in life.
I really do think I should write an angry email to the place. But I settled down with this : I will never ever walk into that place again in my life. EVER.
Just because us girls love to hang out and to make friends, to dress up and look nice, it doesn’t mean that guys can look us down and actually do whatever the hell they want to do as they like. We are not property. We are living human beings with brains and feelings and hearts. Plus, we are totally and completely deserve to be respected.
That asshole from hell should know that if that ever happened to his daughter, how would he feel about that, champ ?
Girls, women, from all over the world. You deserve love and respect. Love yourself, respect yourself. When asshole like this kind try to put a move on you or disrespect you in any way, fight back. Fight back with all your might. Because you have to stand up and be strong for yourself at some point.
YOU ARE PRECIOUS AND YOU ARE WORTH IT.
AND TO THIS ASSHOLE WHO DID THIS TO ME LAST FRIDAY NIGHT, I AM ABOVE YOUR LEVEL AND YOU SHOULD LOOK INTO YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR. YOU ARE NOT ON MY LEVEL. YOU DIDN’T KNOW WHO I AM. BUT IF I EVER EVER BUMP INTO YOU IN LIFE AGAIN, YOU’LL SEE WHAT I’M CAPABLE TO DO.
Self – love, self – respect. That’s the magic words.
I’m sorry for my rants. But girls should know, just like guys too.