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Make No Room For Toxic

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Been a while since the last time I poured out my thoughts and feelings to you guys ! Indeed. I’ve been running around here and there, but here I am today, my fingers dancing around my MacBook Pro keyboard, ready to share some recent lesson that I’ve learned.
I’ve met a friend last April in Canggu. He came from Holland and we’ve made an instant friendship without considering our age gap and cultural differences or backgrounds, because I’m happy to make friends everywhere. I’ve always been that kind of girl who’s not scared to blend in with people or in places. Long story short, he came back to Holland and travelling places while we exchanged texts and the friendship continued.
Recently, he came back to Indonesia, and he would like to visit my two hometowns in Java. Being a good friend, I promised to take him places and show him around and treated him as a guest from overseas so that he could experience a great visit. And I did quite a great job on that. I made him feel like home and being a good friend from across the globe. Then he went to Bali and I also planned myself to come back home to the island to visit some old friends and check out some work stuff. I said that we could hang out there. And that was when the friendship backfired.
We hung out a couple of times and the last two days of his visit, I couldn’t hang out with him as I promised some friends to spend some quality time with them, sharing deep thoughts and inner circle stuff. As I thought, oh, I already hung out with him a lot already, we don’t have to hang out all the time. And so the story went on and I arrived at the airport, ready to checked in and fly back to box town. And boy, I got the most disrespectful message ever.
He texted me saying that he was sorry to see that the friendship turned sour and for what happened ( which by the way, I didn’t know what happen, I thought everything was okay ) and the friendship didn’t work, we should move on with our own lives ( which I don’t mind of course ) but then he said he typed the message with his middle finger and said f* u to me.   Rude ? Definitely. Disrespectful ? Yes. Ungrateful ? Indeed.
What I’m trying to say is, it’s not okay to say stuff like that to somebody when that person already give you the time and effort to be nice to you, like I did, showing him around places, treated him some nice meals, warmly inviting him for some dinners with the family and also gave him nice treats and presents. I was trying to be a good friend. When a friendship doesn’t work, it’s okay to end it, but it’s never okay to say some disrespectful things to somebody, let alone somebody who already did a lot of nice things before. Knowing that he’s much older than me, it’s totally childish and an act of disrespectful ungrateful and totally unmannered. Talk about him being educated. Ha.
Stuff like this usually get to our heads, making us regret our kindness to people with these kinds of manners and behaviours. But I think, we shouldn’t let this bump make us stop believing that there are still good people everywhere spread around the globe. There are no such things as too kind or too good, because if we do good things even when what we got in returned is as shitty as it gets, being a good person still gets us far and we will receive more kindness, the ones we’ve never imagined before.
Bitter and hurt people tend to hurt everybody around them. Because they are hurt, they are almost incapable to see goodness and receive kindness. I feel sorry for these people. They just keep closing their doors for friendships. I can tolerate those behaviours. But some others might not.
The lesson learned is that, sometimes you can’t choose who you bump into, sometimes people can be totally sick and toxic towards you even when all you over them is milk and honey. But, never let that gets to you. Choose kindness no matter what. Make yourselves undefeated.
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The world is a place with growing populations and you can’t hide from all the bad things it has to offer. But if you stay true to yourself and keep turning all the negativities into all positive possibilities, life will take you far. This rude Holland guy surely offended me, but I let it go. I just feel sorry for him ( a friend said no wonder he’s all alone almost all the time ).  I believe the world needs good people these days. If it’s not me or you, who else will ?
And one experience with one bad Dutch human, doesn’t make me hate Dutch people or change my love for Amsterdam. Still, every places need at least one good person. Why shouldn’t it be me ? Or you for that matters. Yes ? Let’s agree on that !
Spread goodness. Love, S.

 

PS. Photos all taken during my trip to Volendam with my Dad. Blast !

11 thoughts on “Make No Room For Toxic Leave a comment

  1. Sorry to hear of this experience, it sounds totally undeserved. Do you think there was the chance that he liked you a little? I am just thinking that if this was the case, you not hanging out with him may have hurt him a little. Not that this is a good excuse at all! I am just trying to think why someone would act such a way to someone that was being really nice to them.
    Good for you for being a lovely host though. He was lucky to have you as a friend by the sounds of it.

    • hello, sam, nice to meet you and thank you for your comment.
      haha, didn’t think that far tho, because i’m like half his age and it makes me feel nauseous just even to think about it LOL :))) checked out your blog and loving it !

      • Nice to meet you too! Ah well maybe not then regarding the age gap, some people work in mysterious ways, that’s for sure.

        Thank you for the kind words, right back at you! Keep blogging 🙂

  2. I was wondering how could someone do this, like if someone is so nice and kind then how could he just go and say that disappointing words and whatever, you deserved better..anyways your blog is amazing!

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