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This Girl Right Here Has Grown Smarter

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Dear people that I’ve met in life,
Some of you, I’ve hurt so badly and damaged so much, that probably you loath me or talk shit behind my back because that’s how you’ve felt towards me. I’m truly sorry because I’ve been such a bitch in your life. When you make your friends hate me too, it’s not your fault and probably you just can’t help it. It’s called being human. I’ll take that. I can’t reverse life and make things better or re do things the other way around.
Some of you, I’ve done some goods and I’m grateful to be there and gave those kindness and happiness in your life. Would you please pay it forward to those people in needs. It’s nice to do good, trust me. It always warm your heart. It doesn’t really matter when they remember you or not, or even hate you or forget you at the end of the day, you’ve done the best part there is for yourself. Trust me, good deeds follow good people with genuine kindness in their hearts.
Some of you, who I’ve taken for granted, I regret it. I’ve realised that it’s not them who were there on only the happy moments that love me and preach me. You guys are, who love me and take me over and over again, no matter how much I’ve been a let down, ditch you, or any other forms of bad things there are that I did. I’m deeply sorry. I’ll try to make it up to you all. I know that for sure now.
At 30 I’ve found out, that you can’t please everyone. You can’t hope to be friends or to be liked by everyone. People will come and go in your life in a blink, even the ones that you love most. So let it go, because what stays will eventually go away. You don’t need the whole world to love you. Some of them aren’t real. You just need to be yourself. And let a few good people love you. And you can be selfish. Make yourself happy, you don’t have to care all the time. Cherish the good memories while every happiness happens. Be in the moment and ace your best : being happy.
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It’s not my friends who I’ve bought drinks all the time that took me here, Rijksmuseum, one of the most beautiful places one earth with the paintings area that I love. It’s my Dad who fought a lot with me and having a lot of differences with me. I realised that those bunch of friends are just people taking advantages of me, preaching me and making me happy because I’m doing something for them. Me and my Dad might pissed off each other almost all the time, but he’s family who would take me across the world. Not those friends with benefits that I’ve been trying to please. From now on, I’ll make my Dad pleased and proud. One person matters more and most. Rather than a bunch cool looking kids from my instagram account posts. Unfollow me if you want. It doesn’t matter anymore. And guess what? No more free drinks for y’all. I’ve learned.
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And in these kind of melodramatic PMS days ? Ice cream always saves the day ! Thank you Ben & Jerry’s !
Just a thought. Love, S.


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