We’re living in a world that consists of society filled with people and relationship that requires us human beings to interact with one another. Since we’re in our mother’s womb, our mother will communicate with us, and those people who love to talk to preggo woman’s belly, it’s an early interaction between us and human kind. With that being said, since we’re babies, people talk to us. It all starts as a new impressive way of communicating for certain because people always gush around babies, saying how cute and precious they are.
What we’re not realising right away is, either it’s family or friends, at some point they will throw negative comments about anything in us, which would seem harmless – but believe it or not – lethal.
Growing up as a happy kid, I’ve always been skinny. After my Opa ( what I call my grandfather from my Mom’s side ) came back from the land of OZ ( he lived there since his early 30s then came home for good ) and see how tiny and fragile I was, he started to get me to eat something after school and those food were the famous McDonald’s. It was the first year of the food chain to came across my box town and as excited I was like any other kid in my generation, it was getting addictive. I don’t know whether it’s good or not, he took me there every – single – day and guess what. Yes, I wasn’t so skinny anymore, I was normal, then here it comes – I got fat. Yes. And boy, did kids back then were vicious with their mouths. I was called a “blown up elephant” or “swollen elephant” and any other names which still rings to my brain up until now. I was gifted with photographic memory, which came in as a good gift and a curse at times.
After I reached junior high and I was fed up, I got into aerobics and dance, that’s how I got smaller and smaller and those bully words decrease day by day up until the words vanished by itself. Getting carried away and also dated the it boy at school, my dieting habit got worse. I got anorexic. Long story short, I survived with a big fight, and ever since, I always been that kind of girl who’s self conscious about body image. No matter how small, tight, athletic or any other kind of body I’ve possessed ( been here done that and now that I looked into each photo with each body type depends on what I do and the diet plan I’m doing at times ), I always feel like I’m not good enough. There were times when my body is not as small and other times that it was so small people told me how tiny I looked. Some people complimented me about me being beautiful and pretty, but I don’t get it now : I never did feel enough and perfect.
See guys ? There are potentials that when you shoot something out of your mouth and definitely something that you can’t take back, you’re unconsciously defecting somebody’s soul. You might hurt someone and that someone might let it go. Others ? They can’t cope so well. Like I didn’t.
Now, there are certain stuff that can’t be undone, but you’ll always have a new start each second of every day. So, start to watch what you’re saying to people, whether it’s a joke or anything, limit yourself. Always point and look for something constructive and not destructive. Teach your children, siblings or anybody else you can to limit what they’re saying to people. Because, whatever seems harmless, can actually kill someone’s soul. And it’s not psychical, but it’s deadly.
PS. look at the crazy bule behind me HAHA, nice one, boo.
So, on these photos are on my days back then, when I did hard core gym training sessions and hard a f dieting plan. I sized UK 6 and sometimes even UK 4. But what was I feeling ? Did I feel small ? Did I feel pretty ? I felt self conscious and not good enough. Sure, I got confidence, but there was always this little voice talking in my head, telling me NO, YOU’RE NOT ENOUGH.
Yes, I did eat this and did other cheat meals. But did I enjoy them with ultimate indulgence ? The answer is no. Even with me being so teeny tiny. But did I feel guilty.
So, in conclusion, I just want to share the effects of saying something that seems harmless but lethal. It’s good to control what we want to say. Isn’t it ? Start to think before you speak or joke. It’s making the world a better place. Trust me on that.
Bikini Cover : ZARA – Bikini Set : H&M – Sunglasses, Hotpants and Sling Bag : TOPSHOP – Accessories : RANDOM LOCAL MARKETS – Sneakers : CONVERSE